A couple of months ago, my dad passed away. This whole grieving process... it's rough, man! I hate the sneaky and unexpected ways grief finds to creep in and ruin things! I've realized that I haven't really found the joy in certain things that I used to find joy in. I don't look forward to anything... at all! I find myself thinking, "What's the point?" We recently booked a trip to Disney World. In the past, I would've been over the moon with excitement over this, but this time, I wasn't. What's the point?
It's been this way with drawing also. I just haven't felt like it.
But one thing I have felt like doing is basically "cranking out" these make-believe Park Pals figurines. It's ridiculous, really. NO ONE wants this and like I said in my last post, I wouldn't even call it art. It's practically nothing and yet making them is strangely satisfying and even a little... therapeutic?
I don't know.
I'm confident that I'll eventually get through this. I definitely don't grieve FOR my dad. He was a Christian, so I know he's doing better than he's ever been. Rather, I grieve for the loss of my dad. My relationship with him was a part of me and now that part of me is gone... and I can feel it. I have to get used to this new way of being and it'll take some time. I'm trying to be aware of what's going on and make a conscious effort to not shove things down, but actually talk about what I'm feeling. My AMAZING wife has been a great help with all of this!
And during this whole process... I'm illustrating fake toys.
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